The Catch 22

I think it's time for another post. and the title of this one fits.

So the littlest one's therapists just left. And we have family over. Enter the beginning of a bad day. at least we made it to 2:30 in the afternoon right?

it went something like this:

Family member:  "Who were those people and why are they here?"
Me: Specialists
Family member: For who?
Me: "our family"
Family member: "What's wrong with your family? and what were they asking all those questions for?"
Me: "who said there was anything wrong with our family?"
Family Member: "What were they asking all those questions for?" (I had avoided answering that question for a REASON)
Me: so they can get a better feel for our family dynamic"
Family member" you are just going to get your kids taken away"
Me: "why would you say something like that?"
Family member: " you are sitting there airing everyone's dirty linen, they are going to go report you to CPS and take your kids away"
Me: "What dirty linen?"
Family member: "everyone's"
Me: "everyone's what?"
Family member "why did she need to know how many times your husband's mother had been married?"
Me: "she was just curious because she knew that his father isn't in the picture"
Family member "see, dirty linen"
Me: "whatever"

Of course the Family member continued to make her opinion known, but I think you get the point.

I wanted to ask her "so if I wasn't willing to admit that there is something going on here that I don't have the know how or the tools to handle, and tried to keep it all bottled up, and then when the kids are all in school and something happens then it would come to light that I was trying to hide my inadequacies, (if you want to call it that) rather than reaching out for help and chopping the head off the snake.

She's bound and determined that his therapists are going to run back to their office and call CPS. or that they are affiliated with CPS in some fashion. These are therapists, they are there to help. Not to try to rip families apart. But now what? this is common, every time we have any contact with family this is the type of "conversation" that is had, and sad to say, I know she's not done.

Now what?  Do we just tell family they can never come over, because we have therapists here on an almost daily basis and they aren't willing to just accept things as they are and leave things be? It has gotten to the point that the only thing they seem to want to talk about is how we are doing something wrong with our kids.

Or do we allow them to continue to upset things, and make the situation worse because well, they are family.

Not to mention again, if we bow to the will of the family, to try to keep the peace, our children are going to suffer. So that's not an option, I'm not willing to do that.

But do we alienate our family, and the majority of our "support" system because of this crap? or are they going to eventually come around, or is there something we can do or say to get through their thick skulls?

and I'm really hoping they aren't right. How is it we live in a time/place that to seek help for your children, might actually place you and your family on the CPS radar? Why is it a bad thing to admit that you need help and seek it out? Because god forbid  if we were to try to keep it "in the family" and all the dysfunctions of the "family" eventually it would get out, and by then, it would be too late to do anything and keep our family together. Someone like CPS probably would be all up in our business.  

I wish there was a way to prove to them that the therapists aren't going to call every little thing in to CPS, and are really there to help. It would not only help to shut them up, it really would settle my mind a little too.  

CPS is the primary reason I don't use names or identifying information on here, because I'm honestly petrified I'll accidentally say something wrong, or say that I can't handle something and I need help, and have someone come knocking on our door.

What would you do?  How would you handle this situation?